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What lies beneath.

This poster expresses a conflicting set of emotions (SOURCE) which I think all good men feel at various times and under various circumstances. The desire to crush someone under the weight of our anger is a hard emotion to control, yet the sensitivity to protect the vulnerable ones remains a powerful check on our actions. 

How many times has this scenario played out in an individual life? How much do those who rightfully deserve our wrath understand that our mercy towards them may have more to do with protecting those other people? How often do we stop ourselves from righteously condemning those who have hurt (or are hurting) us because the culture tells us that our "toxic masculinity" is something to abhor?

The day I officially notified my ex that I was divorcing her was the first time in my marriage where I poured out all the anger and pent up hurt. It was the first time that I yelled so much that I lost my voice. It was the first time I ever let my rage get the better of me. For over 20 years I had taken the abuse, distrust, malice, anger, dismissal, and betrayal and it came out in a torrent of words and feelings that I should have let out in smaller doses over the years. 

It would not have saved my marriage. But it would have given my children a more healthy environment to grow up seeing their dad valuing himself.

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