replyinredd

This poster ( source ) is facing the certainty of divorce and is reacting to the overwhelming challenges that he faces. It strikes me that most people see the divorcing man and assume that all he wants is to be free to "live his life" yet I see these comments and posts and recognize the struggle to believe that I have enough skill, power and fortitude to survive and thrive. I remember the day I knew that divorce was my only option. It was after some radical revelations that left me reeling with emotional overload. My mind went immediately to the challenges of raising my three children without "help" and I could not imaging how to be a single dad while working, taking care of my home, recovering from the 20 years of abuse, and everything else that my mind was fixated on. I did not proceed to divorce for another seven months, and the divorce was final one-year after the life-changing event. In that time I started to take control over my life and began to steadily impl...

 In an unusual post ( source ) we have a rather lively debate about the nature of women. In the comments is a nugget of truth which is a thread that I've pulled in my own time of contemplations.  Let’s face. They won. They effectively ruined tangible consequences with their insistence on abortion being legal, and they are taking away peoples ability to feel shame and legalize drugs to quiet the conscience that tells them maybe what they are doing might not be right. With societal approval to make foolish decisions, who would ever turn to the alternative except out of necessity?  I recognize that mankind has always tried to "have their cake and eat it too" on the whole. What I think is different in the last few generations is the availability of the tools to actually achieve that elusive goal of "eat and be merry" without worrying about the future. We give away abortions. We forgive student debts. We pay people to stay home from work. We create paths for people t...

I found myself reading this post today (SOURCE). My initial reaction was not what I was prepared for when I started. Honestly, many times when I read similar posts I "see myself" in the story and in relating to the story of others it seems to help me on the journey of processing my own story. In this case, I found a thread that I don't recognize, but would admit that I wish it were the case for me.  He says "Our communication is good and we want to keep it that way" and in the replies he reiterates the "ease" of their communication and it reminds me how strained and volatile the communication with my ex is and was.  Funnily enough, as I was listening to a Bible study podcast this morning, the teacher alluded to the masks that we wear and how we don't really show our true selves to "the world" because of the many expectations others have about who we are and how we are too behave. In the allusion, the man of business comes home after the d...

This poster expresses a conflicting set of emotions ( SOURCE ) which I think all good men feel at various times and under various circumstances. The desire to crush someone under the weight of our anger is a hard emotion to control, yet the sensitivity to protect the vulnerable ones remains a powerful check on our actions.  How many times has this scenario played out in an individual life? How much do those who rightfully deserve our wrath understand that our mercy towards them may have more to do with protecting those other people? How often do we stop ourselves from righteously condemning those who have hurt (or are hurting) us because the culture tells us that our "toxic masculinity" is something to abhor? The day I officially notified my ex that I was divorcing her was the first time in my marriage where I poured out all the anger and pent up hurt. It was the first time that I yelled so much that I lost my voice. It was the first time I ever let my rage get the better of ...